I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
