Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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