I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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