if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
