Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
