I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
