69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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