Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
