Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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