You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
