I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
