somebody snuck up and got me drunk
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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