hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
