He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
