If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
