"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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