I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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