"it" just moved
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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