Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
