I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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