I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
