Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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