Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
where are my eyebrows?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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