So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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