I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
