Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
