i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
