i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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