she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
