i just wanna soil my oats bro
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His nipple licking is glorious
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