Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
