Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
