my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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