My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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