My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
