he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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