I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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