I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
