508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
