We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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