ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
