p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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