I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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