Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
