Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
