Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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