Just mADE A PArabola og urine
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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