i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
