New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
