I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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